Double Fan Form. It’s so fucking hard. The whole post could just be that, but I’m going to unpack it even further. I was talking about my family history for most of the post because that’s how I roll. I am a strong writer, but I tend to meander all over the place. Why use one word when ten will do? Writing is esy for me; editing is hard. I do edit as I go, which I shouldn’t do. I talked with my Taiji teacher about that today because I have to actively resist doing th same with my forms.
My teacher has told me several times that I should learn a form first and then do the refinements. Obviously, that means actually learning the steps. I tend to fudge them sometimes, so I will occasionally go back and reteach them to myself. That’s what I did when I realized I didn’t know chunks of the Fan Form.
By the way, my memory is shit now. I thought I had taught myself the Fan Form before my medical crisis (which was in September of 2021). When I was looking through my emails to find something else, I stumbled across emails to my teacher from February of 2022 in which I said that I was going to teach myself the Fan form. That was five months after my medical crisis, which is amazing in and of itself.
Earlier this year or late last year, I was teaching myself the left side of the fan. It was going pretty well when I reached a spot that I had no idea what came next. I thought back to the right side of the form, and I could not make that pull. I went back to the video (which I had to dig around to find because my teacher sent it to me, an I did not put it any place reasonable), and then I realized I had messed up several postures in the form. Not only that, I had completely omitted several more later in the form (very much near the end).
I blame my medical crisis. I did not have much long-term ramifications from it, but one thing that was affected was my memory. Now, given what I went through, this was to be expected. Even though I had a great memory before my medical crisis, I did not take it too hard when my memory suddenly became like Swiss cheese. I will say that it’s come back to about 75%, which I’m fine with.
It’s weird, though. As I get older, I start wondering if the small ailments I’m feeling are because of my medical crisis or because of my age. When I have a memory lapse, is it because of my brain getting hit so (metaphorically) hard? Or is it just because I’m getting older? Or is it both?
I have my Fan Form on lock. Mostly. I still want to refine it a bit, but it’s looking and feeling good. I do it two times a week, and it’s enough for now. I used to do it every day, but I recently graduated it to the ‘I don’t need to do it every day’. In fact, the only weapon form I do every day is the Double Fan Form, and that’s because I’m still teaching it to myself. STILL.
I have included above a video of a gorgeous Double Fan Form above. I have to say, I’m eying it with a half-mind to actually teach it to myself. I’m not going to, though, because I want to move on to another form after this. I’m not sure which one yet, but I would love to be able to find a Double Fan Form that isn’t just swinging the two swords as fast as possible. Also, this isa Yang-style Double Sword Form, which is my lineage, so that’s pretty cool, too. I know I said there wasn’t one in my lineage, but I was wrong.
I also want to finish learning the Karambit Form. I’m about halfway through. Funnily, I thought I was one row from being done, which would have been four or five movements. Instead, I watched the video of my teacher’s teacher doing it again, and I’m roughly half to two-thirds done. Plus, I’m sure I need to brush up what I already know, but I’m optimistic. It was not as hard as the Double Fan Form, which, to be frank, I’m not sure any form will be for a long time, so I think I could learn the rest in a few months.
When I say this form is so fucking hard, I am not overstating it or giving in to hyperbole. I really underestimated how hard it was going to be. I mean, there was no reason for me to think it was going to be easy except that the Fan Form was not exceedingly hard.
I’m going to rank how hard it was to learn each weapon form. Why? Just because. I’m going from easiest to hardest.
1. Sword Form. This was my first from, and it’s what started me on my lifetime love affair with weapons. After I resisted it for a year, I fell for it hard when my teacher put a wooden sword in my hand and told me just to hold it. Once I closed my fingers around the hilt, I was all in. I knew that was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and I was not wrong.I learned it as quickly as I could, pestering my teacher to teach it to me as fast as possible. I also quickly taught myself the left side, and I still have both of them down pretty well
2. Cane Form. This is the epitome of vanilla pudding. It’s fine. It tastes smooth and bland, and it’s sweet, yes, but there’s not much to it. It’s not filling, and you’ll forget you ate it ten minutes later. But, it was easy to learn–and to be fair, it’s only four rows. In other words, it’s fine. I like it better now that I’ve taught it to myself, but it’s not my favorite. However. It’s led me to doing the Cane Form with the saber, which is a great form. I don’t know why it makes such a difference to do the same form with a different weapon–and with one of my least-favorite weapons–but it does.
The reason I’m not putting the Cane Form with the saber on its own is because it’s the same form with a few adaptions for the saber. That doesn’t mean it was an automatic that I would learn it easily, but it did help. Once I started doing the Cane Form with the saber, it shot up to be one of my favorite weapon forms. Yes, it can really be like that.
I am done for now. I will write more about it tomorrow.