I’ve been playing Have a Nice Death (Magic Design Studios) daily on easy mode, and I still can’t beat the game. There are like half the enemies with less health and they do less moves. Same with the bosses. And I still can’t beat the goddamn game. I can get through the first three worlds easy-breezy (well, mostly so, depending on what items I have–and we’ll get to that later (or not because that’s not the point of this post)), and then the fourth world presses me before the boss utterly destroys me. By the time I get to the final area (I think? Who knows? I have not got past the penultimate boss yet), I’m worn down.
Here’s what I noticed. This is a roguelike-lite that depends a great deal on twitch responses. And coordinated responses. Neither of which I’m good at. There is a thing in the last area in which you have to jump up disappearing platforms and then jump through narrow slits that have spikes pointing out. I can’t do it. I don’t mean I won’t do it, but I literally can’t. My brain just won’t process it in real time. So the second time I went into this area, I had full health and all my heals (three ‘big’ ones). I had to do a section like this to get to the mini-boss before the big boss. By the time I got to the mini-boss, I had no heals left because I used them up on the fucking disappearing platforms/spiky slits bullshit.
This is when I had it confirmed for me that things that I have thought of as minor inconveniences were actually probably hidden disabilities that I had never had diagnosed. I am not faulting my mother for this because, I mean, these kinds of things aren’t even dealt with well in our time now, let alone forty to fifty years ago. Also, I don’t even know what exactly this would be. I was talking about it with a friend, and she mentioned dyspraxia when I said I was clumsy. After looking it up, I didn’t think that was what it was, exactly. This was in a conversation about me tripping on things and knocking things over.
From what I’ve read, dyspraxia is about poor physical coordination and not being able to do physical things well that other people can do, two-handed things like playing an instrument or not being able to type well. Hm. I’m reading more now and there’s a section on perception that really rang true for me. Sensitivity to light/sound/touch, not being able to gauge distances correctly, etc. The latter has only gotten worse after my physical crisis, by the way.
I’ll have to read more into dyspraxia. Maybe it will help me deal with the problem. Additionally, it’s comforting to know that maybe it’s not just me being a clumsy oaf (which was my friend’s point), but an actual thing. This, by the way, is what I like best about diagnoses–it’s a way to say, “It’s not you being clumsy or not paying attention–it’s your brain.” Or more to the point, my DNA.
I do think it’s part of my contrary nature that I play video games when I am so bad at them. I like to tell people that I only beat FromSoft games beacuse of sheer stubborness. I seriously don’t think I could beat Sekiro now–not since my medical crisis. This is one of my flaws in general–I am attracted to those/that who/which do not/cannot love me back. In the case of video games, I don’t mean that literally, of course, but just that I am attracted to games that I can’t play/have a hard time playing.
Ok. I took a break to continue on the run I had going. And, ah, I beat the boss that is the official last boss of the game (I knew there was a secret ending bos afterwards). The one that I said I had no idea how I was going to beat. And had only reached two times prior. Weirdly, on easy, this boss wasn’t nearly as hard as the boss prior. Both of them. (You can choose one department or another. The game is set up as you being Death, the CEO of Death, Inc.) Getting to the boss and past the mini-boss right before it is the hard part.
But, also, RNG is huge in this game. I know it is in most games like this, but the only reason I won this run was because I had Wishstorm, which is a legendary spell that in its ultimate form, heals you as it damages the enemies (as long as you stand in it’s bolt). I think I also had the Jabelin, which is a cloak weapon (your cloak forms a weapon) that is, as you might guess, like a javelin. That and the Shakespear (also a spear-like cloak weapon) are god tier, even though they are white and green, respectively, which are the two lowest level weapons. I think it’s (ascending) white, green, blue, purple, brown.
So in my win run, it was massive damage plus Wishstorm that made me basically untouchable. And while it was great to finally beat the game (supposedly), it didn’t feel like it was me at all. Which didn’t feel great at all. And trying to get back there while doing the requirements for the secret/true ending with the secret/true end boss? Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
Which, skewing wildly to another game, Hades II (Supergiant Games) is in Early Access. There have been nothing but accolades for the game thus far. As there were for the first game when it was in Early Access (as it was for two years). I did not play it until it released for a few reasons. One, I did not want to be sick of it before it came out. Two, I did not actually like their other games–which is travesty, I know. I didn’t dislike them, mind, but I didn’t get all into them like other people did. Bastion was probably the one I liked best, which was their first game.
I will be doubly honest. I did not love the game when I first started playing it, either (this was on full release). I liked it, but I wasn’t gelling with it for whatever reason. There was something about it, though, that compelled me to go back to it time and time again.
It was so hard, And I kept dying time and time again. I just checked. Apparently, I played it for nearly three-hundred hours. And I ended up platting it; it was a very pleasant plat to get. Here’s the thing. It took me embarassingly long to beat the last bost for the first time. I want to say a hundred hours, but that might be a slight exaggeration. Or it might actually be more. For some reason, 150 hours popped into my head when I thought about it. I would not be surprised. Or that could be how long it took for me to get the plat, but I don’t think I would have played nearly double the time once I got it.
I have more to say, but I’m done for now. More later.