I’m back to talk more about gaming. Here’s my last post in which I just meandered all over the place, but I did manage to talk about Sarah Bond and how she “resigned” to be with her family and pursue other oppportunities. I believe it even less today than I did yesterday. All the things the Xbox execs are saying are just noise. I. Don’t. Believe. Them. Period. I just fucking do not.
I’m old. I’m tired. I’m mad. I ain’t got time for this shit. Do not fucking tell me that the sky is green and expect me to believe it. I have included a video from Paul Tassi below. He’s solid, and I trust his reporting. He mentions the same The Verge article that I cited in the post yesterday. Again, I don’t have a sub, so I’m relying on what others have said about it.
I’m pretty anti-capitalism to begin with. I mean, as much as I can be in a very pro-capitalism world. Specifically in the gaming world, I don’t buy games on release day for the most part unless it’s a FromSoft game on PC (BIG sigh over The Duskbloods being a Switch 2 exclusive, but also, mixed feelings on the nature of the game).
I haven’t been happy with the gaming industry in general for the whole time I’ve participated in it, and I’m thinking it might be time to bow out. I have never considered myself a gamer beacuse I have never felt welcome in the community. I mean, let’s face it. It’s a community of mostly cishet dudes in their twenties. Not exactlyy my people.
For the most part, I didn’t care. I mostly play games by myself, so it didn’t really matter if I was part of a community or not. However. I hate what’s going on in the gaming industry in general, and I’m not sure I feel comfort supporting it. At least the AAA developers.
I always separate indie devs from the rest of the gaming industry because it’s a whole different situtaion. Well, we need to get even more granular than that. When I say indie, there are different levels. Anything less than twenty people is a small indie dev to me. Twenty-one to fifty is medium. Fifty-one to a hundred is larrge. I just added the last category right now. I’ll be honest. A hundred-person company is too big to be indie to me. Wait. Larian Studios. They have over 400 employees, but they self-published. They are considered an indie studio, but some people don’t really consider them indie.
Do I? Huh. I’m not sure. I mean, they do self-publish, but they are gigantic. I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it more and deal with it later. It’s not really relevant to what I’m trying to talk about in this post, so I’ll let it go for now.
For the most part, I play games that are made by truly indie teams. We’re talking ten or less people. My favorite game last year was made by a studio (Promise Mascot Agency, Kaizen Game Works) that has 3 fulltime employees. They do use contractors, but still. My favorite game so far this year (The Spirit Lift, prettysmart games) has two people on the team. They also have other people they use, but the team itself has two people.
I want to talk some more about me and gaming. Here is yesterday’s post in which I talked about indies versus AAA games. Funnily enough, one of the big debates this year for The Game Awards is what is an indie game versus a AAA game. Why? Because Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 (Sandfall Interactive) is nominated for (among other awards) Game of the Year, Best Indie Game of the Year, and Best Debut Indie Game of the Year. Polygon wrote a great article about this, including the fact that CO:33 feels more Double A than indie.
To me, I think that if a game is up for Best Game of the Year, maybe it should not also be up for Best Indie AND Best Indie Debut. I know that CO:E33 does qualify for all these categories, but I would liek to see the love being spread around. I didn’t realize just how loosey-goosey The Game Awards are, and they really don’t mean anything (other than attention for the winners). Basically, different outlets nominate games in the different categories, and then people vote. There is no curating of the choices, so if a thousand people want to write in a decade-old game for one category, they can.
That’s why there are so few surprises, really, and why tthe awards skew towards the popular. I’m not saying that as if it’s a bad thing, by the way. Just that smaller titles aren’t going to get the love that the behemoths get. Or the critical darlings that everyone rallies around. They are safe choices, ones that go down agreeably with the masses.
Again, I am not slamming the awards for that–ok, yes, I am. Just a little, though. Can we at least have one category that is for the freaks and weirdos out there? A category that recognizes truly small games–and that is not a diss on Hades II (Supergiant Games) or Silksong (Team Cherry). They worked hard and they deserve all the flowers they get.
But, I will always have a very warm space in my heart for the oddballs and the misfits. The devs with so much heart, even if their games aren’t beloved by more than a very dedicated small group of people. I have several games that I played this year which would fit into this category, and in fact, I may do a whole post on them at some time closer to the end of the year.
Here’s the thing. I don’t care for many of the more popular categories (I’m talking about multiplayer games, mostly). That leaves out a huge swath of games that I will just never touch. I also don’t have a Switch or a Switch 2, so I don’t play Nintendo games. I’m fine with taht as most of them don’t seem like my type of game, either. Or, if they are, I can find similar games on the PC.
Let’s talk more about the games I like and the games I want to play next year. Before I get into that, though, I will say that I was pleasantly surprised by one game in particular this year, but I am not going to talk about this now. You can probably suss the reason why, but I’m going to leave it purposefully vague. In the last post, I talked about why I did not like the (heavily assumed) game of the year for this year, but that is not what I want to talk about in this post.
Let’s talk briefly about the game I was most anticipating this year, Hades II (Supergiant Games). I have mixed emotions about this game as well. When I bought the first game, it was after it came out of Early Access. I did not like how it felt when I first started playing it, but by the twentieth or so run, I was into it. I still wasn’t any good at it, but it had it hooks on me.
When the sequel was announced, everyone was surprised. Supergiant Games was known for trying a completely different genre with every game. Hades was their fourth game, and it was drastically different than the game before. So, even though Hades was outrageously successful, everyone assumed they would do a different kind of game for their fifth game.
They followed the same ppath with the sequel–It was in Early Access for over a year, and there were constant updates. True to my nature, I pretended it didn’t exist until it was actually launched for real. Then, I jumped in, curious to see if it lived up to the original.
For the first few runs, I would say that it exceeded my expectations. It was faster, slicker, and felt better (probably because I was already used to the layout from the first game). Except RB being used as the interact button. As a FromSoft person at heart, RB is and always will be light attack. I don’t think I could change the controls, but I don’t remember.
I’m not going to get too into it because I have written umpteen posts about this game as well. I will say that the charm wore off somewhat, and I will never forgive or forget what they did at the end of the game. Yes, they patched it and made it better, but still.
I’ll be honest. I am not getting my hopes up because there is no chance there will be a new FromSoft game next year. Well, except the one that will be exclusive to the Switch 2 and multiplayer. I will not be playing that game, sadly, nor do I have much interest in it. Though FromSoft has said reppeatedly that it isn’t going to stop making single-player action adventure games, I have my doubts. I don’t know why, but I feel like they’re ready to move on. Permanently.
This year has been a weird one in many ways, but I’m going to talk about it from a gaming standpoint today because I can. And because it makes sense after talking about the ten games that define me. I have played many games this year, more than I normally do. New games, I mean. (Not new as in totally new, necessarily, but new as in new to me. In other words, I was cleaning up my backlog. But, also, new games.)
Usually, I play a few new games and then stick to FromSoft games for the rest of the time. They are my comfort games (along with some casual games), and I return to them when I need to nurture my soul.
This year, I feel like I’ve played a bunch of games–more than I normally play. The one I want to start with is Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 (Sandfall Interactive) because it’s going to win every award known to humankind, and I want to vent my spleen about it because once again, I am in direct opposition to it being the game of the year, and I am registerirng my protest here.
I have played the whole game, and I have written several posts about it. As much as I did not care for the game, I could not quit it. I should have after the first act ended, but I did not. Why? Well, for a few reasons. One, it had its hooks in me. I will admit that it has that ‘keep playing’ feel to it. Two, I wanted it to get better. I so desperately hoped it would get better. To sum up what I’ve said before, the prologue was solid, though overwrought. The end of the first act was a shocker and really effective, until I started thinking about it more. And until the second act happened.
The second act threw everything and the kitchen sink at me, and the story was a hot mess. Everyone is gushing over how great it is, and I’m just not seeing it. I saw the twist coming a mile away, and I kept hoping the story wouldn’t go how I thought it was going to go. Then, at the end, you have to make a choice between two miserable endings. And it was, again, what I thought it was going to be.
Everyone went crazy for Maelle (main character), but she left me cold. I’m not going to get into it in this post, but her character really ticked me off. Luna was my favorite, but she didn’t get much screentime. I could not stop thinking of how everything in the game felt forced. Such as, this thing happened because this thing had to happen in order for the following thing to happen. I know that’s the way plots work in general, but it felt very obvious to me in this game.
I’ve been playing Have a Nice Death (Magic Design Studios) daily on easy mode, and I still can’t beat the game. There are like half the enemies with less health and they do less moves. Same with the bosses. And I still can’t beat the goddamn game. I can get through the first three worlds easy-breezy (well, mostly so, depending on what items I have–and we’ll get to that later (or not because that’s not the point of this post)), and then the fourth world presses me before the boss utterly destroys me. By the time I get to the final area (I think? Who knows? I have not got past the penultimate boss yet), I’m worn down.
Here’s what I noticed. This is a roguelike-lite that depends a great deal on twitch responses. And coordinated responses. Neither of which I’m good at. There is a thing in the last area in which you have to jump up disappearing platforms and then jump through narrow slits that have spikes pointing out. I can’t do it. I don’t mean I won’t do it, but I literally can’t. My brain just won’t process it in real time. So the second time I went into this area, I had full health and all my heals (three ‘big’ ones). I had to do a section like this to get to the mini-boss before the big boss. By the time I got to the mini-boss, I had no heals left because I used them up on the fucking disappearing platforms/spiky slits bullshit.
This is when I had it confirmed for me that things that I have thought of as minor inconveniences were actually probably hidden disabilities that I had never had diagnosed. I am not faulting my mother for this because, I mean, these kinds of things aren’t even dealt with well in our time now, let alone forty to fifty years ago. Also, I don’t even know what exactly this would be. I was talking about it with a friend, and she mentioned dyspraxia when I said I was clumsy. After looking it up, I didn’t think that was what it was, exactly. This was in a conversation about me tripping on things and knocking things over.
From what I’ve read, dyspraxia is about poor physical coordination and not being able to do physical things well that other people can do, two-handed things like playing an instrument or not being able to type well. Hm. I’m reading more now and there’s a section on perception that really rang true for me. Sensitivity to light/sound/touch, not being able to gauge distances correctly, etc. The latter has only gotten worse after my physical crisis, by the way.
I’ll have to read more into dyspraxia. Maybe it will help me deal with the problem. Additionally, it’s comforting to know that maybe it’s not just me being a clumsy oaf (which was my friend’s point), but an actual thing. This, by the way, is what I like best about diagnoses–it’s a way to say, “It’s not you being clumsy or not paying attention–it’s your brain.” Or more to the point, my DNA.
This has been a shit week. Yesterday, for a brief moment, there was the exhilarating news that the remastered/remake of Demon’s Souls (by FromSoft, but the remake is being done by Bluepoint games) was going to be on PC. That brightened my entire week, and I was so stoked. I mean, look at it.
If you know anything about the game and even if you don’t, you gotta admit it looks amazing. If you look very closely at the end, you’ll see it says it’s coming to the PC. And there was much rejoicing! What a boost on an otherwise shitty day (well, the day itself wasn’t shitty, but that’s not the point).
Then, later in the evening, it all came undone. It turns out that it was NOT coming to the PC, no how, no way. Nuh uh, why would you think so never mind the text that said it would actually come to the PC? Oh, that? That was human error a rep of Sony said. Was never meant to be! Look over there. *flees*
Ok, that wasn’t exactly what happened, but it’s how my brain interpreted it. The human error comment is real but the rest is just head canon. What Sony said in the walkback was that the text in THE ACTUAL GAMEPLAY TRAILER was human error and that the remake of Demon’s Souls was a PS5 exclusive. Period.
To which I say, bullshit. Why? For several reason. One, the push for Dark Souls on the PC played a significant role in catapulting the series to the lofty heights it enjoys today. Two, it wouldn’t have been in the text if it wasn’t a consideration. Three, because I want it to be bullshit.
Look. I know they were in a hard place when this snafu happened. The hype the PC announcement created could not be put back in the box. PC gamers (and I am one) are rabid about our PCness and our gaming. Souls fans are on another level. So, yeah. I can see how they would be cringing at this point. Let’s face it. There’s no satisfactory response except, “Why, yes, it’s coming to the PC.”
Here’s what I think happened. A Demon’s Souls remake is big. Fans have been clamoring for one for years. Screaming for it. Pleading for it. Offering their first born children for it. I don’t think it’s a leap to say that it’s one of the top two things most requested by FromSoft fans* and with the arrival of the PS5, that seemed like a perfect time for the remake to be released.
Given this as a backdrop, it makes sense that Sony would want it as a PS5 exclusive/launch game. I don’t blame them for selling their consoles however they can. My theory is that they wanted it to be an exclusive for a year or so (which is more or less the timing of exclusives) before announcing the PC launch.
At least, I hope that’s the case. If it’s not, then I guess I will not be playing Demon’s Souls for the rest of my life, which is sad. Or, I’ll do what I did for Bloodborne–buy a PS4 (PS5 in this case) years later at a ridiculously low price in order to play one game.
Anyway. Back to the shitty week part. One way I can tell how depressed I’m getting is what games I play or more importantly, don’t. Oh wait. We have to go back because that’s the way I roll. I am picky about the media I consume in any form. I’ve written about this in the past so I’m not going to rehash the details. Suffice to say it’s difficult to find things I like/click with, and I don’t gel with far more things than I do. When I do, I play the hell out of them but it takes me forever to get there.
Actually, that’s me in general. It takes me a lot of energy to do anything even something I enjoy and if I’m not enjoying it, I abandon it pretty damn quickly. So in the case of gaming, it takes me forever to actually buy a game. Unless there’s a demo that I immediately like such as Spiritfarer.
Ah, Spiritfarer. Can we take a minute so I can reminisce about how much I adore this game? Ok, minute over.
I try to give each game a fair shake, but I know myself. If something doesn’t grab me within five or ten minutes, it’s never going to do so. You may think Dark Souls is the exception to the rule, but it’s not. While I ended up hating the game by the end of the first playthrough, it had me grabbed the entire time.
On my best days, I can try a new game and see what I think of it. On my worst days, however, I don’t have the energy for that. I know it sounds very twee and precious, but, yes, I need energy to try a new game. Just like I need energy to, say, go to the grocery store (not these days ‘coz I’m not going there no way no how) or make dinner.
On the days when I just can’t, there are games I keep in my back pocket.
Here’s another monkey in the wrench. Is that the phrase? It is now. The Souls series used to be my go-to, specifically Dark Souls III. Ever since my two non-plat runs, however, I’ve been on a break of sorts from the Souls games. Note I say that I have two of the plats. I do not have the plat for Dark Souls II for a few reasons. I started with the original game because that’s what Krupa (of RKG) was doing. Then, I moved to DS III because that’s my favorite of the three. Then, I was completely wiped out and done with it. I put aside all the games indefinitely and have only now started diving back into them again. And by them, I mean the third game.
I’m currently re-watching a few Let’s Play of the original game, and I kinda want to play again. I started up the third game again and it’s feeling good. I’m watching a playthrough of the second game and, well, it’s complicated. I want to play it again, but I know if I do, I’ll try to not-plat it. I don’t want to not-plat it, mind you, but it’s just how I am.
Anyway! The one game I can play no matter what is Binding of Isaac: Rebirth.** I’ve put so many hours into it–no, not gonna tell you how many–that I could play it in my sleep. There are a few new rooms even now which is interesting, but it’s as familiar to me as my skin. I would like to note there is going to be another update soon. I’m reaching the point of new content fatigue, but I know I’ll play it, anyway.
Here’s the time when casual games really stand out. When I can’t handle learning a new ‘hardcore’ game, I can fall back on a solitaire game or a hidden object game and still get a gaming fix without putting too much effort into it. I used think it weird that I would flip back and forth between hardcore and casual games on the regular, but I’m fine with it now. It’s a nice way to unwind on a day when I’m stressed out, anxious, or just plain distressed.
I still can’t wait for Elden Ring, though.
*BB II is number one. Not going to happen, my friends.
**Obligatory yes I know that’s not the current iteration of the game but it’s the one I want it to be.