I finished the Swimming Dragon Form today. My teacher calls it graduating when a student finishes a form, which I find charming. It just means you’ve been taught all the postures in the form. It doesn’t mean you are a pro at them or that you will remember them perfectly if at all. My teacher does not expect that, nor does she give you any shit if you forget. If anything, she goes the other way and explicitly states that her students are welcome to make all the mistakes without censure.
I’m pretty proud of myself for buckling down and finishing the Swimming Dragon Form. I have a hard time finishing things if I don’t do it right away. I tend to wander to other things, and I don’t have the will to go back to the first thing.
It’s been a few months since we worked on it in private lessons. That’s because I got distracted by other things I wanted to do such as learning the refinements to the Sword Form. And learning some of the refinements to the Solo (Long) Form. My teacher is amenable to going wherever I want, so it was up to me to drag us back to the Swimming Dragon Form.
There were maybe a half-dozen postures left, but they were all on the harder side. Or at least that’s how they appeared when I watched the video I took of my teacher doing the form. And they aren’t easy, per se, but they’re not as difficult as I thought they would be, either. I just needed to break it down and be more granular about it. I had to look at the right hand, then the left hand, then the feet. And the waist. Which is how my teacher breaks it down, though she lumps together the hands.
I was quickly exultant as I finished the form. The second-to-last posture is the most dififcult, and I had to watch it several times before I got it. Do I have it? I’m not sure I do, but I can at least fake it. I have the shape of it even if I don’t have the exact movements.
I told my teacher that I graduated from the form and looked forward to cleaning it up with her. We have a running joke about that beacuse one time she was gone and had a substitute. I think it might have just been me in the class. The substitute, let’s call her Jan, showed me five postures in the Sword Form, not well, and said that my teacher could clean it up for me. I was not pleased because I couldn’t take in that much information and she didn’t do it correctly or well, anyway.
My teacher has told me that her teacher had the habit of being very meticulous in the beginning of a form and then about three-quarters of the way through, he rushed through the last several postures and considered it done. I surmised that could be why Jan did what she did, but my teacher denied it. My teacher said that Jan just wasn’t very good, but probably didn’t want to admit that her Sword Form wasn’t up to snuff for teaching.
I let it drop, but I still thought that Jan had learned from their teacher to rush through teaching several postures at once. Yes, their teacher did it because he got bored by the end of the form, but that didn’t mean Jan didn’t learn form it (although it was the wrong lesson).
I’m going to sit with the Swimming Dragon Form (hands only) for the next week or two. I want to jump into the Deerhorn Knives Form because I love them so much, but I need to let the Swimming Dragon Form set first.
Yes, I want to do everything all the time when it comes to the weapons. I watched a video of a Double Axe Form, and my god, it’s magnificent. I love axes in FromSoft games because I started as a pyromancer with a hand axe. I imprinted on it, and I would love to learn a Double Aex Form in real life.
But back to the Swimming Dragon Form. When I first started, it was like learning a foreign language. In Taiji, your weight is forward most of the time. Roughly 70% forward. In Bagua, your weight is back most of the time. Roughly 60% back. This was so strange in the beginning, and it took me months in order to feel more comfortable with it. I still have to practice because I will automatically go forward at times, but I’m getting much better at it.
I have somehow become that person when it comes to weapons. I have gone from liking weapons to loving weapons to not being able to imagine my life without them. I am buying nicer weapons with semi-regularity, and I’m practicing the weapons themselves more and more every day.
I am serious about them in a way that I would not have imagined even six months ago. Something clicked in my brain, and I went ham on it. I’m still not adjusted to the idea that I’m a weapons person. I’m no longer a dilettante or someone who dabbles. It’s doing a number on my head, both good and bad. Good because I feel like I’ve actually graduated. Bad beacause now I feel like I have to do a grand gesture in order to mark being Serious About Weapons.
Intellectually, I know that I am better that I was and I don’t need to prove it to anyone. Emotionally, though, I feel the impulse to mark it externally. I don’t know how or what that would entail, but it’s in my heart. The weapons mean so much to me, and I want people to know that. At the same time, I know that it’s not something most people will be interested in. I’m fine with t hat because I have been the weirdo all my life. I’m done for now. More tomorrow.