I had a private lesson today with my teacher. After griping about the state of the world around us,* we talked about me working on different weapon forms. Her teacher is very excited that I’m so into weapons and has said that I’m welcome to any of his classes. I would love to take a weapon class from him, but I have to sort out my lack-of-driving situation. In addition, as I told my teacher, if I did attend a class in person, it would be hers.
I miss attending class in person. It’s not terrible to do it online, but it can’t compare. My brother and I were talking about self-driving cars, and he said it would be good for me. We talked specifically about the Tesla one, but I refuse to buy a Tesla as long as that man (I wrote mad. Not far from the truth) is connected to it at all.
I would like the freedom to get places, though. My eyes are terrible. My reflexes suck. I have no periphery. Freeways are the worst. I haven’t been on one in quite some time. I do need to think about a self-driving car because it could change my life.
Back to the weapons.
Well, let’s talk about the Swimming Dragon Form first. I am so near the end, I can taste it. My teacher helped me out with the latest movement I’m working on in that form. Since Bagua is so new to me, I have to have some beginner’s tips. The good thing is that because I’ve studied Taiji, I have a base to at least do decently on another internal martial art.
My teacher was talking about how her teacher’s teacher, the grandmaster of Liu Ho Pa Fa, another internal martial art. When he was younger, he had no use for Taiji. He thought it was too soft and had no use in combat.
Oh, by the way, here’s the link from yesterday.
Back to Grandmaster Choi. He had his mind changed (not sure how), and now he has a Taiji form. As my teacher explained it to me (or I interpreted it this way), he has a few core truths (like all movements should be combat-based) that he has incorporated into all his forms. A quote from him: “No form. Human form.” In other words, he doesn’t care so much about structure and such.
Funnily enough, as I was looking for a video with him in it, the one I found (and included below) is from my teacher’s teacher.
One of the biggest changes from Taiji to Bagua is that in the former, you usually have more weight on your front foot (70%) whereas in Bagua, you have most of your weight on the back foot, but not as much (60%). In addition, in Taiji, you need to empty your step. Meaning, before you lift and place your foot, there has to be no weight at all in that foot. Whereas in Bagua, you’re suppose to root as you step, but it does not matter if you empty out your foot before you step.
Also, in Taiji, you’re reacting to what’s happening. Ideally, you’ll take the energy that is given to you and redirect it. In Bagua, anything goes. You don’t wait for shit. There’s an intensity and fury to Bagua that I really dig.
I have issues with anger. I have had them before my medical crisis, and the stroke did not help. The flood of rage I feel at the stupidest things is very uncomfortable. I try to keep it to myself, but it’s not easy. Taiji does help with it, though. Also, I don’t have to interact with people that much, so that helps.
I am so happy with my weapon forms. I am messing with the karambit and the fan together, and they work so well. They should be clashing because of their very different energy, but as I said, it’s the yin-yang feel of them. The furious, kinetic energy of the karambit along with the more languid energy of the fan. it really sparks joy in me.
I have never had a hobby that has made me feel like this. I have have had several hobbies I enjoy a great deal, but this far eclipses all of them put together. I want to do it all the time, and I have to pace myself because it’s very weight-bearing, despite it not looking like it from the outside.
In a world that is bleak, it’s something that makes me happy. When I’m puzzling out a movement from one of the forms, I am completely focused. I can’t think of anything else, which is a mercy for someone like me. I have anxiety, and I always have a running commentary in the back of my mind.
When I pick up a weapon and move it in the air, it grounds me in such a way that I have never felt before.
I asked my teacher about a Double Sword Form. There is not one in our lineage, sadly. I mentioned that I found several online, but most of them were not good. She laughed and was not surprised beacuse anybody can put anything online. She commented on how I was now able to tell the difference, which I would not have been able to do a decade ago. The one I included in yesterday’s post was the one exception, and I may teach that one to myself if I can’t find anyone better.
At the end of the lesson, we did pushing hands. Willow 1, which is the intro to willowing. We also did Willow 2, which are the splits. I’ve done all that before, which made it easier to do it this time. It’s still not natural, and I feel stiff as I do it. But at least I don’t feel uncomfortable with being touched any longer.
I took a Pushing Hands for Women class that my teacher taught over a decade ago at her insistence. Well, about as insistent as she gets. She’s not one to mandate anything, but she suggested strongly that I go. I’m not one to do anything automatically, but because it meant so much to her, I went. It was very frustrating and intimidating, but in the end, I was glad I went.
More tomorrow.
*America. I mean America.