Yes, I’m going to talk more about weapon forms because they have changed my life. Before them, I liked Taiji and appreciated the positive benefits, but I have to admit that I struggled. I liked it enough to keep doing it, but I had to admit that it felt more like a duty than a joy at times. I struggled with the Solo Form from the start, I will admit. Part of it was because I had a horrible teacher before my current one who really messed me up when it came to Taiji. I don’t want to talk about it, but suffice to say that it scarred me so much, I did not try to find a new teacher for nearly ten years after. Well, I think it was more like seven or eight, but still.
When I found my current teacher, the thing that really made me trust her was that she would honestly tell me if she didn’t know something. I had so many questions to ask her, and she was very patient with me. If she knew the answer, she would tell me. If she did not, she would tell me that she would either ask her teacher or look it up. And she always did. That’s the important part. She always came back with an answer, even if it was just to tell me that she didn’t know or couldn’t find the answer.
I fought myself so much in the first few years of learning Taiji. My teacher introduced the Sword Form to me in my second or third year of practice, which helped. However, I still resisted practicing the Solo Form or anything related to it.
If i were to be honest, I still skimp on the hands-only Taiji. I hate to admit it, but it’s just not as interesting to me as the weapons. I do the warmups/stretches every day and one section of the Long Form, but then I spend more time with my beloved weapons. Oh, I do some other hands-only Taiji/Bagua, but it’s still not as much as I do the weapons.
I have talked about it with my teacher beacuse she’s the opposite. She likes the hands-only Taiji much more than she does weapons. I didn’t know it for a long time because she hid it well. She was more than willing to talk about weapons at length because I was so excited about them. It wasn’t until she was teaching me the Saber Form for the second time that I had the realization. And it wasn’t that she actually said it. It was just the difference in how she talked about doing the hands-only stuff and the weapons. In addition, when we talked about the first time she taught me the Saber Form, she mentioned that she had stopped at the end of the fourth line because she hadn’t been confident about the complicated steps that ended that line.
She had made a couple other comments about weapons that made me realize they were not her jam. It wasn’t something I really thought of, though, until we got to the Double Saber Form. I had seen one of her classmates do the form at the demo in February, 2020. That was right before the pandemic closed everything down.
My teacher was able to teach me a few drills before everything shut down. Then, when things opened up a bit, she came to my backyard for our once every two week lessons. That’s when she started teaching me the Double Saber Form, I think? My memory is shaky. I do know that about two-thirds of the way through, she stopped teaching me. After some time, I asked if I could just teach the rest to myself with the aid of her teacher’s videos of him doing the Double Saber Form. She agreed to it and sent me the videos.
It’s a weird feeling, I’ll be honest. Oh, the video I included above is my teacher’s teacher’s teacher (Master Liang) doing his Double Saber Form. My teacher’s teacher has kept the gist of it while making it his own.
Recently, I’ve been having some difficulty with the form. I only practice it twice a week, and I think with the emphasis on other forms, my brain is wobbling. Plus, with all my work on doing the left sides of different forms, I think my brain is a bit confused. It shouldn’t really matter on this form because it’s one saber per hand, but it’s been really difficult. Which means I should probably go back and teach myself again the parts that are shaky.
I really don’t want to mess up this form. it’s one of my favorite, and the first one that I taught any part of it to myself. I’m proud of that. Plus, it’s a really cool weapon. The double sabers really do make me feel like a human blender, which, I will admit, is a powerful feeling.
And then, let’s talk about the my beloved Deer Horn Knives. They are, by far, my favorite weapon.
Wait. Before we get to that, we have to talk about the Fan Form. It’s the first form I fully taught to myself, and I did it a few months after returning home from the hospital. It was too soon, but I did manage to teach it to myself. A year or more later, though, I realized that there were gaps in the form because I tried to teach myself the left side of the Fan Form, and I could not get from one part to another. That’s when I realized there was a gap and one at the end as well.
I went back and taught myself the Fan Form (right side) and then left it. I may teach myself the left side at some point, but it’s low on my list of forms to teach myself. I have many on that list, but right now, I’m focusing on the Bagua Knives Form and perfecting my Double Fan Form. Yes, I am going to do the Double Fan Form at the demo, as if there was ever any doubt.
Even if I could learn the Bagua Knives Form before the next demo (which I plan on doing), I don’t think I could pefect it in that time. Also, I don’t think that I want to do a form that is my teacher’s teacher’s form. He is a master, after all, and his forms are all exquisite.
More tomorrow.