All right. We’re at the end of the year (nearly) and at the end of my award posts (nearly). I have three awards left to give (nearly) in a year that defies definition. The fact that I am here to write this is amazing in and of itself. I can’t overemphasize this point enough–I should be dead. The fact that I’m alive at all is unbelievable. The fact that I don’t have any lasting damage (that I know of) is a miracle. And, yes, I’ve come around full circle to the word. I am a miracle. While I’m not embracing it, I’m not pushing it away, either. No, it doesn’t mean anything in my day-to-day, but it’s useless to deny or push back on it, either.
Before I get tot the awards, however, I want to say something about Spiritfarer by Thunder Lotus Games because I finished the Jackie & Daria update and it really hit me hard. I did not care for the ungainly and clumsy platforming in the Daria parts–please, for the love of all the gods, if you are not a platforming game, do NOT include platforming in the essential gameplay sections. I’m including FromSoft in this because they LOVE their platforming sections and they’re all bad–and it got so bad, I nearly quit the update. The controls are squishy and there is overdrift in every direction. Having platforms that disappear is bullshit and being able to fall all the way down to the beginning of the section again is bullshit. I actually cursed during this section, which is not what a cozy game should engender in me while I play it. If Ian had been around, I would have made him do the platforming sections without hesitation.
Jackie, on the other hand, quickly wormed his way into my heart. A loud and foul-mouthed, crass, coarse, brash hyena who works as an orderly in a hospital and has an inflated view of himself–one that is clearly just a mirage. He knows that he’s not any of the stuff he’s saying he is and he knows that he’s a piece of shit. It’s funny because I was talking to Ian about dirtballs and how I have a soft spot for them. That’s exactly what Jackie is and the fact that his steady stream of cursing is similar to what’s going on in my brain.
It’s clear that he was in a lot of pain that he wasn’t dealing with.
*WARNING MASSIVE SPOILERS*
I gave a special musical instrument to Daria and Jackie lost his shit. He ripped it away from her and basically caused a scene. He cussed me out and disappeared. I was in shock because it was so violent. The other hospital workers were uniformly in shock by what he had done. I couldn’t find him and I was getting nervous. It wasn’t until after I ushered Daria to the Everdoor that he appeared on the boat.
By the way, there was a note about beehives in the patchnotes and I was trying to find it in different areas. You get sheep by finding them and bringing them to the boat. You get cows by buying bovine licenses from, ah, Randy the Raccoon? I don’t remember his name. I think it’s Teddy? Google tells me it’s Theodore. Anyway, I went to so many areas trying to find the beehive. You can’t get it until Jackie goes onto the ship. Wish I had known that before I wasted so much time looking for it.
Anyway, once he’s on the ship, he opens up to you about what a shithead he is. And how he lies about things, but isn’t sure why. He also is very aware of how much of a shitheel he is, but he feels helpless to change. He doesn’t know how to handle the sudden rage that washes over him whenever he’s pushed. He requests things for his room that will help him better himself like motivational posters, a Zen garden, and self-help books. None of it helps, though.
*Double Massive Spoiler Warning*
After all the upgrades to his room, Jackie finally admits defeat. He says that none of it is helping–in fact, they all seem to bring him down even further. He’s hit hard by the fact that he’s been running from his issues all his life and that he doesn’t know what to do about them. He’s in his forties or fifties I think? So not old by any means. But, he doesn’t think he can change. In fact, his brain weasels have convinced him that no one can change and it’s useless to even try.
I relate to that so much and my heart broke over and over for him. When he asked me to take him to the Everdoor, essentially assisting him in killing himself,
I do it with a heavy heart and it’s very emotional.
*End of spoilers*
I appreciate that Thunder Lotus handled it with care. They included someone with dementia in the main game and handled her with equal delicacy. Gwen, my favorite, experienced child abuse in her past, and there were other difficult characters as well. I appreciated that the characters were fleshed-out and not caricatures for the most part. Also, they were real with negative traits as well as positive traits. It was a hell of a debut game for Thunder Lotus and I cannot wait to see what they do with their next game. Check out the award I gave them in my last post.
With that out of the way, here are the rest of my awards for the year.
Best comfort game that saw me through really difficult times
Dark Souls III
I love this game by FromSoft. I have made no bones about the fact that this game is my favorite of all time. I’ve played it dozens of times and I know every inch of it. I can still summon people for most bosses, which just blows my mind. This game was released in 2015, six years ago, and the player base is still robust.
When I was in the hospital, I kept thinking about this 80s movie video trailer parody that I really liked. The tagline is, “When you pick a fight with the devil, you better be stronger than hell.” I repeated this to Ian when we Zoomed two days after I woke up because, as I said, “I fought the devil twice and won twice!” I used this as a reason that I was strong enough to fight whatever was upcoming. I’m pretty sure I said “If” instead of “When” because that’s what I always say, but it has the same gist.
When the physical therapist said I could use video games as rehab, I thought of this game. It’s the first game I tried when I was comfortable trying to use a controller again. It felt so good when I ran around outside Firelink Shrine, killing the scrub enemies. I actually had a tear in my eyes because it felt so good. I quickly took to it again and now, I’m back to my Dark Souls way.
I started at the end of the first DLC in NG+ when I got out of the hospital. I’m now halfway into NG+2, which means I did all of the second DLC in NG+. I had the help of player summons for three of the bosses and the two NPC summons for the first boss. I even got a summon for the optional boss in the first DLC, which is very rare.
I love this game and it’s definitely comfort gaming at this point. I’ll probably play it for the rest of my life and I’m fine with that.
The one true game for 2022
Elden Ring
Look. You didn’t really think I ‘was going to let awards season go without mentioning Elden Ring, did you? It’s the next game from FromSoft and it’s supposed to be in the vein of Dark Souls. You can’t expect me not to be hyped for it. It’s already my game of the year for next year and it’ll take a lot to sway me from that opinion. I’m owning that now.
I have one more award to give, but this is running long. As per, I’ll have one more post about it and reveal my last award for the year. See you then.