It’s funny to me when people talk about the internet as not being real. I mean, communities on the internet. I understand that attitude from twenty years ago when it was new and unusual. But. It’s been a thin now for quite some time, and people have made lifetime friendships and even met their long-term partners in this fashion. I met Ian on Twitter a decade ago, and our friendship is still going strong. Most of our interactions are online-based, but that doesn’t make it any less real. I know that he would do anything for me (and has). He knows I would do anything for him (and have). My door is always open to him and vice-versa. He’s coming to visit in a week and staying for two weeks. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him since the pandemic, and I cannot wait. We have such an easy rapport that it’s like being by myself (which is a compliment). My cat loves him almost as much as he (Shadow) loves me, and that’s saying something.
I met K in person nearly three decades ago, but we only talked once every few weeks. This was before messaging and texting was common. We got together once every other month or so, but we knew that we could see each other more often than that if we wanted. Until she moved to Philly. I will admit that was hard. Even though we didn’t see each other that often, the knowledge that I could drive fifteen minutes to her house was comforting. We message every now and again, and we talk once a month for hours. She’s planning on visiting in a month or so, and I cannot wait. I picture us thirty years from now in an old folks home, heckling the other inmates.
The fact that I have to use technology to nurture both of these relationships for the most part doesn’t make them any less real. We don’t have to be physically in each other’s presence in order to care about each other. I love both of them just as much as if I see them every day. Honestly, probably more because I am a solitary person. I wouldn’t want to see any person every single day, though Ian did stay with me for four months (on was it three?) when he had an internship with Game Informer, and we had no problems.
I get that there are different vibes when you’re hanging in person than when it’s online, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a different kind of friends within an online community. Like in the RKG Discord, I do genuinely care about the people. I want the best for them. I’m happy when something good happens to them and sad when something bad happens. There are in-jokes and short-hands. There are shared experiences and some of them meet in person (the Brits) on the regular.
