I love Taiji. It saved my life. Both figuratively and literally. When I was drowning in depression, Taiji gave me a meaning in life and allowed me to temporary calm my anxious mind. It helped me set boundaries with my parents–and, more importantly, it allowed me to put some distance between us. I simultaneous cared… Continue Reading
For many years, I classified myself as a pacifist. If someone tried to kill me, I would let them. It was how I was raised–to believe that my life was not as important as other people’s. Somehow, I twisted that into believing that my life was toxic and it would be better for the world… Continue Reading
I’m loving Bagua, and it’s making me want to fight some fools. Not for real because that’s silly, but in a sparring situation. I’m feeling my oats in Bagua, and it’s making me more energetic. It’s very interesting because Taiji chills me out. Even doing the weapons forms gets me in a flow state that… Continue Reading
When I was in my naughts, I hated life. My childhood was shit, and I thought I was shit. When I was seven, I realized I was going to die one day. That was also when I realized I wanted to die. Or rather, I did not want to be alive. That is a difference… Continue Reading
I have been studying Taiji for 16 years. It’s the lazy scholar’s martial art. It’s also an internal martial art. It’s about exerting as little energy as you can for the biggest results. It’s gentle and good for your health. Anyone can do it with ease, and if done properly, it will not hurt at… Continue Reading
For years, I would hear people say that running is so great beacuse you get that runner’s high. I hate running, so I dismissed it out of hand. I’m not saying they’re lying ,but that it just never did it for me. Running was the absolute worst, and I only did it when I was… Continue Reading
New internal martial art, who dis? I’m kidding, of course. Taiji is my forever love, but there’s a new hotness in town caled Bagua. My teacher has practiced it for decades, and she showed me how to walk the circle with DeerHorn Knives ages ago. I was having horrific flashbacks while doing meditation, so my… Continue Reading
I’ve had depression, anxiety, and body issues for most of my life. I realized I was going to die when I was seven, and that did weird things to my brain. I wav both fascinated by it and repulsed by it–which probably isn’t that weird, come to think about it. When I got my MA… Continue Reading
i just lost a tooth. An old decaying tooth, I think, but still. I think it had a crown on it, but also, sitll. I had not been to the dentist since before the pandemic and had just been about to make an appointment when the pandemic happened. Now, this is forcing my hand because…well,… Continue Reading
I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned in my 51 years on this earth. First, there were some things that my last therapist told me that have stuck with me. Before I was tthinking about moving to the East Bay in order to attend grad school, I was obsessing over all the negative things that… Continue Reading