Tag: brain damage | A Banana Peeled

More thoughts on NaNoWriMo

Posted on November 3, 2024 by Minna Hong • 0 Comments

I probably have brain damage. I want to state that outright because I think it has had an impact on how I write. Or not. I’ll get more into that, obviously. In yesterday’s post, I talked a bit about how I write. I don’t do what is commonly thought of as the right way to write. I don’t do it the first thing in the morning. I don’t do an outline (except in my head). I write a lot of garbage. That’s normal, but I write more of it because I’m so prolific. I edit as I go, which is a no-no as well.

This is the story of my life. I don’t do what I’m supposed to do just because I’m supposed to do it. It’s why I don’t identify as a woman any longer. It’s why I give a side eye to ‘but tradition’ or ‘but faaaaamily’. I have never understood why I should accept something is good just because society declares it as good. This is doubly so because as a minority, I have had to endure so many different kinds of isms across my life.

I am a weirdo, yes. This has put me on the fringe of society all my life. This has caused me no end of heartache, but it’s also been a strength. I have a bad tendency of being a people-pleaser–except when it comes to my writing. I mean, I do self-edit, but when it comes to how I write and the things I write about, I just don’t give a shit. I know that there is no way I can write about something that will have mass appeal. I just don’t have that in me. I am not a mass appeal person. When I allow even a sliver of the real me to slip through, I get in trouble. I don’t like most of all pop culture, and I’ve learned to keep that opinion to myself.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not going to say I like Star Wars, for example. I don’t. I saw the first movie when I was eight or nine and absolutely hated it. I cannot tell you why, but I loathed it with every fiber of my being. I have seen the second movie (I’m talking the original trilogy), which I did not like either. That was the last Star Wars movie I’ve seen–oh, except for the horrid Christmas movie that Lucas tries to pretend never existed. I have no interest in the series, and I’m gobsmacked how fans just gobble down any shit Disney throws their way.

The little things

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Minna Hong • 0 Comments

Yesterday, my brother came to drive me to my echocardiogram appointment. Except, there was no appointment made, apparently. We got there and they said they had no record of it. My brother and I went to get burgers at Culver’s instead, which was so good. Even with no butter (They invented the ButterBurger) and a gluten-free bun, it was juicy and so meaty (got the double). I learned that you can get a triple or more if you ask, but that would be just way too much meat. Even a double was plenty for me.

I promised my brother that the heart center DID call me. He believed me because I immediately emailed him after to ask for a ride. He figured out that the person probably jotted it down on the wrong client’s page–and I remembered that she did have computer problems while we were talking. So, yes, either wrongly noted it or it didn’t take at all. Plus, as I was messaging Ian to tell him I had an appointment, he asked how long it’d been. It had been ten months, so I was surprised that they hadn’t waited for a year. That’s when we scheduled it for while I was there–they wanted it to be a year.

It got me thinking about driving. I haven’t driving much since I got out of the hospital. To be fair, I didn’t drive much before because of the pandemic and because of my shitty immune system. The last time I went out before I landed in the hospital, I went to Target. I am convinced that’s where I got the walking non-COVID-related pneumonia, even though it wasn’t in the week of when I got it. I just Googled it. The symptoms do not show up for two weeks at least. So it was probably there. It doesn’t make a tangible difference, obviously, but it’s a relief. I had been racking my mind, trying to figure out where I got it (back then).

Let me set the background. I have a shitty immune system. I’m not immunocompromised, at least as far as I know. But I do have a shitty immune system, which is how I always phrase it. In the before times, I got bronchial-related illnesses two to three times a year. My doctor said I had the lungs of a seventy year old. I smoked two to three cigarettes a day (not two to three packs) slowly throughout the day. I smoked half a cig when I got up, then a quarter cig several times during the day. I never wanted a whole cigarette (except when I went out with K. It was our thing), but I liked the little kick that a few puffs gave to me. My favorite doc told me it wasn’t a big deal or something to worry about when I mentioned it to her. When I asked why doctors were so strident about smoking, she said because if they told people they could smoke a few cigarettes a day, their patients would take it to mean they could smoke six packs a day. Which, fair.

Don’t mind my mind

Posted on August 23, 2022 by Minna Hong • 0 Comments

I like to say that I’m better than ever after my medical crisis. In general, this is true. I’m stronger and able to do more in my daily Taiji routine than before. I have a better attitude about life, and I am grateful for my bonus days. I love my body and think it’s aces for what it got me through. My ass is particularly entrancing to me after a life time of mourning how flat it is. That’s Taiji for you. It gives you curve where you didn’t have them before. Plus my thighs are thicc with two Cs. I’ve always had muscular calves, which I appreciate as well.

And my biceps.

Can we talk about my biceps, please? I tend to muscle, anyway, and since I started doing weapons, my biceps are nice and hard. I love my muscles to the point of distraction. Am I obnoxious about it? Probably. But, as I’ve mentioned in the past, I’ll take it over me hating my body any day of the week.

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