I have said several times that one of the reasons I chose Taiji is because it’s the lazy martial art. My teacher told me this in the first few classes I took. It’s about exerting as little energy/effort as possible for the maximum output. It spoke to me because I’m lazy. Or rather, it’s really difficult for me to make myself do things–even things I want to do.
When K used to live here, We would go out roughly once a month–usually dancing. We would set a time and I would drag myself to her place right on time. But it would take me a half hour to talk myself into getting up and getting dressed. Then, I would sit and watch her for half an hour as she dithered over what to wear. Usually, her husband would finally tell her what to wear, and she would reluctantly put it on. He has great fashion taste, by the way.
Finally, about forty-five minutes after the time we were supposed to get going, we’d leave. she would drive us to where we had to be, and I would get the drinks from the bartender–even if I didn’t want one (I had one a night). This is one reason we’re such good friends–we complement each other. I hate driving; she loves it. She hates getting drinks from the bar; I don’t mind at all. When we went to dinner, we’d split the tab equally and she would pay the tip because she had drinks and I did not.
I have said to her repeatedly that we will be at the same old person’s homeand heckling the other inmates. She laughed, but she knows it’s true. Or maybe not because we’re the opposites when it comes to environment. She grew up in Miami. I am Minnesota born and bred. She’s happiest when it’s over 80. My sweet spot is freezing and below. Though, to be honest, since perimenopause, she has preferred lower temps. And for me, perimenopause has made me actually have chills.
Anyway! We have talked about how difficult it is to get going, even when it’s something we want to do. I think that’s another reason we work well together–because we both understand that overcoming inertia takes a lot of energy. We both like just sitting on the back porch and chilling (used to smoke. Don’t any longer). We don’t even need to talk. That’s the thing I like best about being with her and Ian. With both of them (separately), I can just be me. I don’t have to perform. At all.