Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: perfection

Seeking the perfect detective game, part two

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I have played more of Murders on the Yangtze River (OMEGAMES Studio), and while I still enjoy it muchly, there are more things that are irritating me. Such as the fact that they introduce new mechanics without explaining them. Or give a very brief explanation that doesn’t really tell you what to do. Here’s my post from yesterday. I was planning to talk today about what I do want in a detective game, but we’ll see if I actually get there.

Oh, and when I went to check my achievements in game, all the ones I unlocked playing the demo unlocked for real. Since I was fretting about having to go back and doing them again, I was glad that happened.

Side note: I have a pet peeve with indie games that I fear will never be resolved. I have mentioned it many times, but I want to moan about it again. It’s bad gameplay in a game that isn’t focused on gameplay. Seriously. I would rather have no gameplay than shitty gameplay.

I mention this because there was a truly atrocious bit in Murders on the Yangtze River that had me cursing. Chung-ping is doing some research, and it stretches on for hours. He falls asleep and has a nightmare. I learn a bit more about his childhood (and it’s truly horrific), and then I have to navigate his nightmare. It’s him as a small child running away from the giant face of his father, crying, as his father devours him.

There’s a maze as it were in the library where I am. And as my father is chasing me, I have to navigate around tables, piles of books, etc. It’s up/down arrows or W/S, but there’s a micro-second of delay between input and action. And if you get snagged on an obstacle, you cannot untangle yourself fast enough to get away from the giant face. So, basically, you have to memorize where the obstacles are. This goes on for several rooms with no chance to save anywhere. And there is no skipping it.

It was incredible to me that the reason I might have to stop playing the game was a shitty maze. Honestly, I may knock a whole point off my mental score for the game because of this and other bad mechanics. Fortunately, I managed to memorize the layout (not easy either given how shitty my memory is now), but it left such a sour taste in my mouth.

I want to say that it’s because of my motor skill issues. I’m sure other people did it easily, but I really wish devs would just put in a little skip button. I could not finish Stray (BlueTwelve Studio), a lovely game about a cat, because of the QTEs and bad platforming. I really wish they would have given me the option to skip the QTEs after, say, five tries or allowed me to hold down the button instead of madly tapping it.


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Elden Ring: so close to perfect

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I love Elden Ring. I know I don’t have to say it, but I wanted to state my love at the forefront of this post. I’m trying to shield myself from the inevitable pushback when I note what could make Elden Ring better. I speak from a point of wanting to make the game better, not to take it down a notch. My philosophy is that you have to acknowledge someone’s flaws before you can truly love them. Otherwise, well, your love is incomplete.

First of all, there are a bunch of enemies that are jerks. The video I’ve included is his community’s top ten most hated enemies. Now, yes, enemies aren’t supposed to be fun. They’re meant to be a challenge, but most on this list, I’ve given up fighting. Runebears? Ha! The last one I actually fought was in a catacomb and I thought it was unavoidable. Once I realized you don’t have to fight it, I skipped it the next time around.

The giant lobsters/prawns/whatever the fuck they are that shoot out highly-potent streams of water? No thank you! There is one that turns into a Grafted Scion and gives a Larval Tear when you kill it and that’s the last one I killed on purpose, I think. Abductor Virgins? I want no part of them, thank you very much. Look. When you have many enemies to kill, why bother wasting so much time and energy on one enemy? Especially late in the game when every enemy is so hard.

I talked about how I had so much difficulty with Leyndell Royal Capital the first time around. It was such a grind with the common soldiers one-shotting me. Carefully, painfully, making my way through two rooms, which took me five or ten minutes, only to be ganked by a group of enemies that I couldn’t possibly beat. And I don’t mind pulling one enemy at a time (mind out of the gutter, please!), but there were rooms in which there were enemies hiding around the corner and I could not possibly see them without first entering the room.

Side Note: I always crank the gamma up to the max. Games want you to have it so you barely see whatever insignia they present to you, but, hell no. I have bad eyesight and spatial perception difficulties. Why the hell would I make it even harder on myself by deliberately lowering the gamma? That’s why I always have my hip lantern turned on when I’m in a cave or catacomb.


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Looking for the Cracks in the Perfection

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all glass can be broken.
The colors of love.

Today, I read a piece in the NYT by a dying woman, Amy Krouse, Rosenthal, called You May Want to Marry My Husband, and it’s a personal/love letter for/to her husband. It’s a lovely piece, and I think most people will be stirred by it. Those of you who know me well can probably tell that I’m speaking in a very measured tone, which should alert you to the fact that I’m about to add a ‘but’ to that statement. Really, it should be expected because it’s not much of a post if I’m just going to gush how great this piece is. So, those of you who don’t want a somewhat grumpy post about love and relationships, you probably want to turn away now. Consider yourself forewarned.

But.

As I was reading, I found myself wondering about his flaws. He didn’t seem like a real person to me from the post, and no, I did not want to marry her husband. One, because I’m not the marrying type, but two, because I never believe the advertisement for a product. That sounds incredibly harsh, and I don’t really mean it that way. It’s just that when you read personals, you know that the person is putting their best foot forward. When I tried the personals, I would emphasize my love of literature, my tats, my nontraditional outlook on life. And sex. How much I love sex. Which is a lot. I was witty and funny and my words sparkled.

What I didn’t mention was that I was severely depressed and barely moved from the couch for days on end. I’m alternately clingy and cold, and I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. While I endeavor to be understanding and empathetic, I can be judgmental as hell on the inside. I don’t like people in general, and I can only take people in very little doses. In addition, I’m a slob with a tendency towards inertia, and sometimes, I have to be dragged, kicking and screaming, from my house. I’m generous, but I keep tabs in my head of the favors I do. I bottle up my emotions until I explode, and then I scorch the earth with my fury. I’m passive-aggressive, and I’m conflict-avoidant to an unhealthy degree, though I’m getting better at being more direct. I’m moody, and overly-sensitive in taking offense, and I sulk way more than is seemly for a woman my age. All of these things are important for someone interested in dating me to know.

Back to the piece. As I was reading it, I couldn’t help but wonder, “What would he do if I refused to talk to him for hours?” “What happens when I want sex for the third day in a row, and he’s just too tired*?” “How will he react if I push him to do a chore he doesn’t want to do?” In other words, tell me about his flaws. Tell me what I’ll see when I peel back the layers and get past the superficial. Tell me what he’s like when he’s sick or cranky or just not feeling tiptop. Does he leave two squares on the toilet roll and not replace it? Is he short with the kids when he’s feeling tense?

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