I’m a weirdo. This is not a shock to me or anyone who knows me. I have been a weirdo all my life, but I didn’t realize it until I was…well, that’s a complicated answer. Here’s the thing. I never felt like I fit in, but I just thought it was because–well, I wasn’t sure.… Continue Reading
For most of my life, I’ve defined myself mostly by what I am not. I am not normal. I am not like other people. I am not feminine in that I don’t care about fashion, hair, or makeup. Though since the hospital, I’ve been having more fun with my hair. I did it in Chun-Li… Continue Reading
I can’t stop thinking about my brother saying of course I didn’t like movies because I was two steps ahead of the plot at all times (because of my high sensitivity to people’s emotions). Funnily enough, that’s why I enjoy mystery books–because I know who the perp is halfway into the novel. I usually know… Continue Reading
I got my lab results yesterday. My heart doc was so pleased to tell me the news, he sent it twice! More likely, his office sent it twice. Either way, it tickled me. All my labs are normal or within acceptable limits. That is good news! It’s not unexpected, though, as my doc said my… Continue Reading
I have written at length about the miracle that happened to me and how I’ve started to resent the word, ‘miracle’. Today, I want to talk about the mundane as it pertains to said miracle. The first week I was awake, I wasn’t thinking about much of anything other than how the hell did I… Continue Reading
In my last post, I wrote about things I hated that were universally considered good things. You can read about it here. In this post, I’m gonna continue that roll because it’s my blog and I can do whatever the fuck I want! Side Note: I have a hack for doing a list in Word… Continue Reading
It’s hard to express how alienating it can be to be on the fringes at times. Hm. That wasn’t very clear. I am on the fringe in many ways. It’s difficult to tell ‘normies’ how tiring this can be on the daily. This is the basis of privilege, I know, but I’m trying to take… Continue Reading
I am a weirdo and I know it. Most of the time, I’m fine with it. More than being fine with it, I’m happy that I’m not part of polite society. I make it easier on myself by only being friends with fellow weirdos (though some pass better that I do) so I don’t really… Continue Reading
Most of the time, I’m fine with being a weirdo. Sometimes, I take a perverse amount of pride in not being traditional. My mom once said with much irritation after I–oh, I know what it was. My cousin had gotten engaged by her husband (fiancé at the time) and my mom was relating how it… Continue Reading
It’s month…five? I think? of personal lockdown, and I’m pass the incandescent rage I was feeling a month ago. Now, it’s just resignation, almost fatal. A lot of numbness. My brain is still not able to be as productive as it was in the Before Times, but I just work around it. The outcome isn’t… Continue Reading