Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: sinus issues

Free to breathe

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I have a problem doing what I need to be doing. In this case, mailing in my absentee ballot. I’m registered to vote and requested my ballot in the beginning of September. I didn’t get my ballot and didn’t get my ballot so I checked the SoS website. It said it was sent September 18th. What??? I only checked my mail once a week (Sunday when I went to put out the trash) and there it was–two weeks after they said they sent it. Which meant it took at least five or six days to get to me–which shouldn’t be the case.

Then, I set it on my counter and didn’t do anything about it for two weeks because that’s how I roll. We had a bit of snow yesterday and it was predicted we’d get 5 – 8 inches today (now downgraded to 4 – 6) and it was getting uncomfortably close to the election for my taste. So, I went to mail it (I don’t trust my mailbox for good reason) and it felt so damn good to be driving with the windows down in 30 degree weather. I felt alive and refreshed; I had forgotten how much I loved doing that.

By the way, voting in my small city is so easy. I just Google candidates for about fifteen minutes and bob’s your uncle. Even for ‘non-partisan’ (yes, in quotes) positions, it’s fairly easy to tell where they stand on issues. If the first thing they mention is taxes, they’re not the candidate for me. If there’s no mention of social justice (especially with the current events being what they are), hard no. If there’s no challenger such as with judges, I don’t vote. I’m not feeling great about this year’s election for many reasons, but I knew I had to vote.

Being in the car with the window down, the brisk wind reddening my cheek, that felt good. Now, I’m on snow watch and it’s coming down hard. I can feel my soul expanding as I watch it fall. Oh, this is another reason I am not good with people. I love winter. I love snow and the cold. When the weather drops below forty, I feel more alive. Other people get SAD in the winter; I get it in the summer. Or rather, I get irrationally angry when the temperature rises about seventy. Put me in zero degrees with my weighted ‘cool’ blanket and a mug of dairy-free hot chocolate with my cat on my lap? Hell to the motherfucking yes!


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Annual sinus issues in the time of Covid-19

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So, I’ve been dealing with my annual sinus/migraine bullshit. Oh. I just thought of something. Caffeine can cause migraines as well as cure them (it’s finicky like that). I’ve been drinking caffeinated tea at night. That might be the cause of the migraines. I’ll give it a skip tonight and see if it helps.

As for the sinus stuff, I think it’s partly allergies (because I’m allergic to everything under the sun), but it’s also sinus stuff. I can tell the difference because I’ve had allergies all my life, and I’ve had sinus issues for several years. The former is your typical itchy eyes, runny/stuff nose, clogged throat, while the latter is ear shit, nose afire/pricked, and swollen glands. The third factor is the weather. I have no scientific basis for this, but I firmly believe that the barometric pressure changes plus the heat negatively affect my sinuses. I definitely know that ‘feels like 102’ negatively affects my mood. I keep my AC at 78, but I dropped it a degree yesterday because I was not gonna deal with a migraine, sinus crap, AND heat.

I fucking hate the summer with all my heart, and I always have. Not only because of the heat but also because of the allergies. Everything is in bloom, and it wreaks havoc on my nose. It’s hard to remember sometimes that we’re still in the middle of a pandemic. Not only because it’s been pushed out of the news, but because life around me hasn’t changed. I haven’t seen one mask in my neighborhood, and there are definitely neighbors who are not practicing safe social distancing.

And I end up feeling like I’m the weird one for completely shutting myself off. My father laughed at me the other day that when I had food delivered, I didn’t let them in my house. To me, it was a no-brainer. Letting them in the house defeated the whole purpose of delivery in the first place. And, our state soft-opened…a week ago? I think? Time doesn’t matter. Anyway, my brother said we should go to the noodle place down the street when it opened. Even after we agreed that nothing had really changed during the ‘stay-at-home’ time and the ‘stay safe’ time.


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Health matters

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I’m trying to put off gulping my migraine meds the minute I wake up, but it’s not going swimmingly. Some days, I’m able to stave off the headache, but sometimes, like today, my brain is throbbing very unpleasantly. It’s reaching the point where I need to take the meds or it’s going to get much worse.

Side Note: I used to take six Ibuprofen in response to a migraine. Obviously, that’s not a good thing to do nor is it effective, and it’s really hard on the liver, so I stopped. Instead, I started taking two Excedrin Migraine or the generic equivalent. Well, actually, three, but I cut back to two. Three is better, but two does the job as well. If I take it early enough, it drastically reduces the migraine if not eradicate it completely.

I read that Ibuprofen is more for generalized body pain rather than localized such as a migraine, which made sense to me. I discounted it as useful for migraines (both for me and in a general sense), but now I’ve read an article that it can actually help some people with migraines–50% of them. So, it’s useless to me, but not for others, apparently.

I worry about taking Excedrin Migraine every day.  The Googles has given me a long list of possible side effects to each of the three main drugs in it. The basic gist is that I should ask my doctor–which I will when I find a new one. My old one left, and I haven’t found a new one yet because it’s such a pain in the ass. I have a laundry list of things to ask my new doc, which isn’t making me any more eager to find one.

I’m worried that my health isn’t going to get any better. Or rather, this is the new base that I have to accept. I’ve dealt with being dairy-free and gluten-free, and it’s fine for the most part. Caffeine-free was much harder to do, but I’m fine with it now. I am having a very difficult time with the idea that I may have to give up something else as well. I’ve already given up so much! Do I really need to eschew, say, onions? I also feel like a whiny baby because I don’t have Celiac disease, and there are others who have it much worse. Yes, I know it’s not a competition, but I feel like a punk for not being able to soldier through. It doesn’t help that I am friends with several high-functioning people, and I can’t help but compare myself to them.


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Under (sinus) pressure

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I’m still feeling punk. And, it’s still hasn’t fully hit, which is depressing me. I’m already feeling depressed because of my life, and I was going to get more into that this week, but I’ll save it for later. Let’s just say there isn’t one facet of my life in which I’m satisfied, and this could be a dangerous slope into chronic depression. Even though it’s been years since I’ve been there, I know it could happen at any time. I’ve had a low-grade depression for a few months now, which is bearable, but not desirable, honestly. Persistently being on the cusp of being sick doesn’t help. My sinuses are sore, I have a dry cough, and I have no energy.

So, this is your post for the day. Here is Queen and David Bowie doing Under Pressure (of course).

It’s Darkest Before the Dawn

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Every time I think I’m getting better, I take two steps backwards. I was on the upswing last night, and I was foolishly optimistic that I would be better when I woke up. Imagine my chagrin (but not surprise) when I woke up with a tickle in my throat. Up to this  point, I’ve been mostly achy and flipping between feverish and chilly. I’ve had no strength, and I tire easily. Now, added to that, my throat is scratchy, and my nose is runny. I’m coughing as well, which, of course, makes my throat feel worse. I went to Cubs this morning to stock up on groceries, and I bought ginger, honey, and lemon so I can make my mom’s ginger tea. It feels soothing going down, and everyone knows all three of those are good for what ails you. I also bought a thing of Simply Lemonade with mango, so I’m drinking both of those in addition to my gallon of pop and my thermos of water. I’m quaffing ALL THE FLUIDS in an attempt to halt this before it gets really bad.

I also know I’m sick because my already-short patience is almost at nil. My inner sarcastic monologue is twice as bad when I’m sick, and I’m less able to keep it off my face. At Cubs, there were two elderly ladies who were blocking an aisle and didn’t move as I pushed my cart up to them. This is one of my pet peeves in the best of times, and I’m sure the impatience was etched on my face. One of the biddies slowly moved aside, and in my brain, I was thinking, “Come on, woman. Move faster! It’s only common courtesy.” Then, the cashier wanted to tell me his life story, and I was curter than I normally would have been. I think, anyway. It’s possible that it was all in my head because I’m pretty able to mask my inner impatience, but it makes me uncomfortable to be that acerbic.

Anyway, I’m keeping this short for today. I wish my Shadow would do this to me.

It’s All in My Head (and Bloodborne)

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I’m sick. Again. I’m also depressed about it because it seems to be a yearly thing. I got sick around this time last year, and it lasted on and off for the next four or so months. Rightly or wrongly, I blamed going to the doctor on my further illnesses as I went twice and got sick again immediately after. This time, however, I have not been to the doctor, and I feel like shit. I’m alternating hot and cold, and I’m exhausted no matter how much or how little I sleep. I had to skip Master Choi’s seminar this weekend because I didn’t want to get anyone else sick, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it through the two hours (plus half an hour driving either way). Shadow has been my little nurse, lying on my legs to keep them warm. The trade-off is that he gets in my face (literally) as I’m waking up because I’ve been a bit remiss in getting him his breakfast on time.

It’s stressful to get tired over every little thing. I have pared down my morning taiji routine because I’m sick, and I’m still spent by the time I’m done with it. Driving to the grocery store and picking up a few items exhausts me beyond my resources, and it’s hard not to feel resentful by the time I get home because I feel as if my body is betraying me. Going to the grocery store shouldn’t be any big deal, and yet, in my current state, it’s such a production. I’m lying on the couch with Shadow on my legs, thinking I need to go to the store, but having no energy or motivation. It takes me about a half hour just to drag myself off the couch, then fifteen minutes to actually make it out the door. By the time I get home, I’m ready to drop. Things that normally take such little thought now take every last bit of reserve I have.

Right now, I’m sitting on my couch with a cup of coffee and Shadow on my legs. I’m so freaking hot, it’s uncomfortable. But, if I take off my sweatshirt, I’ll be chilled in a minute. I’m someone who rarely gets cold, so getting the chills is really uncomfortable for me. I will say the older I get, the less I’m able to tolerate intense cold. I used to drive with my windows down well into the sub-zero degrees range. Now, I shut the windows around zero degrees and feel sheepish about it. It’s hard to adjust to aging, and I’m not doing it very gracefully. I have freckles and moles that suddenly appeared after I turned forty, and whoever said acne is only a teenager thing was lying through their teeth.

Shadow has now hopped up on the top of the couch in his usual spot because he’s decided he’s done enough administering to me. He might also not want to be too close to the germs, for which I don’t blame him. This is me right now:


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It’s All in My (Stuffy) Head

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I’ve woken up on the wrong side of the couch for the past several days. You know how some days everything gets on your last goddamn nerve? The cat is a bit too insistent in his mewing (stop pressing your cold wet nose on my bare flesh, Shadow!); the coffee is a tad too bitter, no matter how much sugar I add; I don’t want to do my morning regime; the sun is too damn bright, etc. I’m grumpy, and I know it’s irrational. My patience, which is already short, is even shorter, and I’ve snapped at the people around me though they’ve done nothing wrong. I usually have a sarcastic voice running through my brain, but I’m careful not to give voice to it to often. In the past few days, I’ve been less able to keep it under wraps, and I’m trying to bite my tongue rather than go off on people who don’t deserve it.

I went off on a rant in taiji yesterday about not having children. Now, I’m pretty clear in general that I’ve never wanted children. I’m comfortable with saying I’m gleeully childfree. But, for whatever reason, as we were talking about having kids (me, my teacher who also never wanted children, and one other classmate, an older Indian woman who does not have bio-children of her own), I was getting riled up and said the idea of having children repulsed me. I immediately felt bad about it because I don’t know if my classmate is childfree by choice or not, and I clarified that it was just repulsive to me, not that I thought it was repulsive in general. It’s true that I am repulsed by the idea of having children, but it’s not something I normally would say or needed to say.

I got really mad at someone driving slowly in the left lane and screamed some really nasty things at them (not directly as I was behind them, but yeah, not cool). It’s one of my pet peeves, but normally, I just sigh loudly and deal with it.  At Cubs, I was miffed by the person who parked their cart in the exact middle of the aisle, and at the co-op, by the person who was blocking the (walking) lane with his person and didn’t move an inch as I approached. Again, these are pet peeves of mine, but I normally just shrug and move on with my day. I didn’t say anything to either of these people, but the snark in my head was real, yo.

Not by coincidence, I’ve also woken up with my ears being messed up these last few days. I tend to have ear problems in that they get crusty, then I pick at the crustiness, and then they scab over. I pick at the scabs, which of course makes it worse. I also have a stuffy nose, which I initially thought it was allergies, but now I think may be a precursor to sinus troubles. In addition, whenever I shift my head too suddenly, I’ve gotten really dizzy. I asked my taiji teacher about it, and she said it could be sinus issues. I’ve had issues with dizziness all my life, but it’s usually just a little bit and only very rarely. Having it three days in a row and pretty violently is unusual and disconcerting.


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I Can Hear You Now!

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I’ve been having sinus issues all year long. My nose has been like a faucet at times and a clogged toilet at others. I’ve had searing sinus toothaches which I’ve mentioned time and time again has been some of the worst pain I’ve had in my entire life. It would hit randomly, and I would clutch my jaw in pain, unable to do anything else for the next five to twenty minutes. My entire being was focused on the pain, and I would gladly have welcomed someone putting me out of my misery. I don’t like to use pain killers, but if I had had Vicodin or Percocet on hand, I would ave been tempted. Actually, I do have some Percocet lying around, but I didn’t remember it at the time.

At first, I thought it was a cavity or I hurt a tooth nerve or something, but then I realized it only happened when my sinus issues were flaring up, and I connected the dots. I was pleased to find research to back up my theory, and once my sinus issues cleared up, so did my toothaches. I haven’t had one in months, knock on wood.

About a week ago, I woke up with my right ear plugged. I was puzzled because it’s never happened to me before. I turned my head, but nothing drained out, so I had to walk around with my ear feeling as if it was full of water. The first day, it cleared pretty easily, but the next day, nothing cleared it. I stopped using my earplugs at night because I felt that might have been exacerbating the problem. By the third day, my ear was mostly plugged all the time. I tried swimmer strips which promised to leach out all the water from my ear. Didn’t work. I also tried ear drops specifically for this problem, and the first few applications didn’t seem to do much good. Two or three applications later, however, and my ear was clear.

Optimistically, I used my earplugs that night, and my ear was full again the next morning. My theory is that I was keeping the fluid in with the earplug, and I didn’t use it the next night. I kept applying the drops (per instructions. You’re not supposed to use it more than five times in twenty-four hours), and after a few rounds of unclogging and reclogging, my ear is clear for now, knock on wood again.

During the time it was clogged, I had no idea what would make it pop, which was frustrating. I felt as if that ear was swimming in water, and I had a hard time hearing anything from it. Then, sometimes, it would ‘pop,’ and I’d be relieved, only for it to plug again. It had liquid in it, but it didn’t actually hurt. It was a bit puffy and sore when I put my finger inside my ear, but no pain. There was liquid, but no pus, and it didn’t smell like it was rotting. In other words, it wasn’t an infection; it was just fucking annoying.

I would cock my head in order to try to clear it, which earned me weird looks from other people. I used Q-tips and cotton balls to try to sop up whatever was in it. I did anything I could to mop up the fluid, but nothing worked. If I tilted my head a certain way, it would clear up, but the minute I straightened my head again, it would clog again. When I lay down, my ear would clear up. When I sat up, it would plug again.
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Different Day, Same Shit

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Woke up today and the sun was shining, which means I’m a cranky bitch right now. Well, crankier than normal, which is pretty cranky to begin with. The face-eating aliens are back, and they are having a feast of it lately. An added bonus is that my knees are feeling sore and tender, and I’m blaming it on the weather as well because why the hell not? My head is pounding, and I have no motivation.

I’ve been going down the Gordon Ramsay rabbit hole on YouTube for the past several days, mostly watching clips of him eating horrible food prepared to him by deluded chefs. However, I’ve also watched clips of him cooking, and oh, baby. He could banger my mash any time. Here’s a video of him cooking 5 dishes for winter. I miss winter. *sigh*