I’m back on the weapon forms tip because I’m obsessed with them. It’s my entire life, and I want to talk about it all the time. It being weapon forms, I mean. Today, I went through the entire Swimming Dragon Form (not a weapon form in and of itself), and I am pretty comfortable with it. I think I will start looking at the Bagua Deerhorn Knives Form that Sifu does (included below) this week. In a few days. The gerat thing is that the first minute is the walking the circle that my teacher taught me for meditation. The form that follows is not anything like the Swimming Dragon Form, which excites me.
I also looked at the Double Fan Form. This is an actual form, and I have seen several people doing the same form (with minor tweaks), so I’m guessing that this is the official Yang-style Double Fan Form. I ilke that because then I canlearn it without wondering if it’s a good form or not. I don’t mind learning forms that aren’t official or that were created by Sifu (or one of his students). However, it’s nice to throw an official form into the mix.
I found a video of one instructor who has a split screen as she’s slowly doing the form. It shows both the front and back view in the same video. And she’s going slowly, which I really appreciate. I did the first few movements, but my brain was just not grasping it. So I put it away until tomorrow. I am not trying to push my way through no matter what. I have so much on my plate, weapons-wise, I don’t mind taking my time with any one form.
There is also another video teaching the Double Fan Form step by step. I may look into that one because I have questions as I go. I’m not frustrated, but I do think this is going to be harder than I anticipated. I learned the Double Saber Form before my medical crisis, and I’m not sure that I can learn another double weapon form without really breaking it all down.
I am also messing with…not a Double Sword Form, but using two sords for our Sword Form. Sifu told my teacher that one should focus on the helping hand as much as the main hand, and that you can put a sword in that helping hand as well.
That shit is hard. I’ve tried it, and suddenly, everything I know about the helping hand has gone the window. Once it has a sword in it, it no longer feels like it’s helping. I do the Sword Form on both sides, which I think is part of the problem, too. When I have a sword in my hand, I think of it as the dominant hand. Plus, the helping hand is usually two fingers pointing forward, so it’s strange to have a sword instead.
I don’t quite get what Sifu means by you can do the helping hand with a sword. When I try to do that, it awkwardly flops and flaps all over the place. There is a Double Sword Form video (in two parts) I have seen, and I may do that instead. I’m going to try to be patient with doing the Sword Form with two swords. I think I have to be flexible with it, which I started to do in the second half. Rather than just faithfully try to do the helping hand with a sword in it, I did movements that felt natural, but were very different. And that was so cool!
We’re in a gestation phase right now. Meaning, it’s time for brewing, dabbling, concocting–and failing. I have to not be afraid to fail during this period. This is one of the hardest things to me in that I hate to fail. It makes me feel like such a loser, and I need to be able to put that behind me when I’m practicing Taiji and Bagua.
It really helps that my teacher is so chill about it. She never castigates anyone for making mistakes (except for my one classmate who, despite a decade-plus of practice, still cranes her head to watch our teacher no matter where their prospective positions are in the room and even then it’s more a ‘look at the person in front of you’ rather than actual castigation), and she is willing to explain the same thing a hundred times in a row.
I am really loving the karambit/fan combo I’m doing. I’m trying to be thoughtful about it and not just moving as my body wants. Not that the latter is a bad thing, but if I’m actually going to create a form, I want it to be based on something more than good vibes.
Vibes are a valid way of doing the form, I hasten to add. I’m not anti-vibes, but I would like to be able to back up my movements with good theory. I don’t know if that’s me trying to keep pace with the guys, but I do think it’s good to be able to explain why you’re doing what you do. Even if you do just mostly vibe with it.
I am so stoked to do the Bagua Deerhorn Knives Form, and I have my teacher’s permission to start looking at it. It warms my heart that she trusts me when it comes to the weaopns to learn on my own. I mean, I don’t know why I’m surprised by it, but I am. And grateful. And appreciative that I’ve finally reached the point where this is possible. Even three years ago, I would have said I was not ready for that kind of autonomy. She might disagree, but that’s how I felt.
Now, I am more than ready to handle new weapon forms. Again, I don’t think I should go buckwild with it, but learning two or three at the same time is doable. No way I could have said that three years ago, either. To be fair to me, I was just out of the hospital for a life-threatening event, so I can give myself a bit of grace on that.
That’s all for today. More tomorrow.