At the end of the last post, I was talking about how the reach of family dysfunction is long and tortured. One of the problems with abuse is that it gets passed along, generation by generation. It’s the same with societal norms, actually. What we consider normal is usually what has been codified into society… Continue Reading
I’ve been thinking recently about life. I know that sounds boring and pretentious, but hear me out. It has to do with family dysfunction, but maybe not in a direct way. I’ve been talking about my parents and their beliefs in very rigid (and outdated) gender roles. Because of this, I grew up thinking that… Continue Reading
Today is Valentine’s Day. I used to hate this day, even when I was in a relationship. It’s a manufactured holiday and one that has morphed into (in the het-norm) ‘Buy an expensive gift for your ladyfriend, otherwise you don’t love her’. There are just too mayn expectations for it to ever hold up. Side… Continue Reading
It is Thanksgiving today. I don’t celebrate, but I don’t mind thinking about what I’m grateful for. My brother is having his dinner tomorrow, and I had been planning on going. for the first time in several year. Obviously, in part because of the pandemic, but also because, quite frankly, his (now ex) wife made… Continue Reading
In my life, I’m a very private person, edging towards secretive. I am where secrets go to die, and people know they can tell me things. I will talk about things with Kathleen, but she is also a steel trap. And Ian. Another steel trap. Other than that, though, I won’t talk about something someone… Continue Reading
While I was doing my Taiji routine this morning, I had music on as I was doing the forms as was my wont these days. It’s funny how the playlists that YouTube makes for me just includes all the songs I like with no context. So Rihanna is followed by Vienna Teng, who is then… Continue Reading
I was talking yesterday about being able to fit in (which I can to certain degree). And just about societal norms in general and how being the weirdo means that I’m expecing things to be suited to me. The upside to that is that I’m rarely taken by surprise when something terrible happens. I know… Continue Reading
I’m almost two years old. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Nearly two years ago, I died twice and came back twice. It’s my re-birthday and is more important to me than my actual birthday. That’s not saying much, really, because I hated my birthday for most my life. I was a depressed kid–deeply depressed–who… Continue Reading
There’s a thing called love languages and it’s horse shit. The end. I’m just kidding. Not about it being horse shit, but I can’t really say that because I haven’t read the whole book. I know it’s heavily Christian and has rigid gender roles, which is pretty much all these books. Like The Rules back… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I touched on how we humans make things harder on ourselves. This is true in general, and even more so with family dysfunction. What we grew up with was the norm, and if it was unrelenting, then it can be hard to break free. In my family, women were subjugated to men… Continue Reading