Underneath my yellow skin

Category Archives: Self Esteem

Looking for ways to make my life better

I was talking in yesterday’s post about my writing. I would dearly love to be able to write fiction again, but it’s a struggle. The words still come fairly easily, but they are not catching fire like they used to. I have mentioned before how if my writing is going well, then there’s a sparkle… Continue Reading

What else I need to do with my life

With difficulty, I’m going to wrench myself away from talking about weapons, at least for one post. The reason is because I need to talk about something else important in my life–my mental health. It’s in the shitter, and I’m really struggling. There are many reasons for it, but I want to focus on a… Continue Reading

New year, new me, who dis?, part two

And we’re back. Let’s talk current family situation and what I want to do about it. In the last post, I talked about the history of my family dysfunction. That was not the point of my post, but it’s what was apparently on my mind. My father has dementia. He’s had it for roughly twenty… Continue Reading

New year, new me, who dis?

We are back with another post about my goals for the new year. In my last post, I was talking about Taiji and how much it’s helped me in my life. It’s not hyperbole to say that it’s saved my life, both during the medical crisis (literally) and before it (emotionally). My family dysfunction runs… Continue Reading

Gender is a social construct, part two

I don’t like thinking about gender because I genuinely get fucked up when I think about it too hard. My mother has been an unrpentant sexist all her life. But in a very weird way. Why weird? Because she did everything she did to cater to my father, and one of his firm ideas was… Continue Reading

New birthday, new life, who dis?

I was musing in the last post about my rebirthday and how it’s coming up. Well, that’s what I meant the post to be about, but I meandered into family dysfunction once again. Which isn’t as far a stretch as you might think, actually. I have spent decades unlearning the toxic things I’ve been taught… Continue Reading

Unmasking and taking off the bra

I don’t wear a bra. Ever. I think I might have autism. Bear with me because I think these two things are related. Tenuously, maybe, but related, nonetheless. I also think I have OCD traits. This, too, is related. Let’s start with the bra thing. I hate clothing in general. It all feels so restrictive… Continue Reading