I have two set of favorite things. From games and Taiji weapons. I have ranked the former and likened the latter to different romantic relationships. I have not done the opposite, so I decided, why the hell not? Or at least take a stab at comparing the former to the latter. To recap, here is… Continue Reading
I hate food culture in America. I just want to say that up front because I’ve been thinking about it lately. I re-read posts on Ask A Manager, and I’ve been absorbed in one about a nonprofit charity that deals with people with a certain chronic disease (and how to help them eat healthily*. That… Continue Reading
Back in my twenties, there was a big discussion in the community* about emphasizing that sexual orientation was not a choice. “After all,” they said. “Straight people don’t choose to be straight.” which, true. But. And this is where my brain gets weird. I’m bisexual, for lack of a better word. Which in theory means… Continue Reading
I love myself. I had to start with that because it’s a revolutionary statement for me. I have spent most of my life hating myself. I was told both explicitly and implicitly that I was… just…wrong. This was suburban MN in the seventies. I was fat, Asian, brainy, and probably neurodivergent. I did not watch… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I talked about things that unwittingly push my buttons. Or rather, wittingly, but seemingly randomly. I know what it is, though. It’s me being understanding all over the place and not getting it in return. With every subject, I am in the invisible/ignored category. With race, it’s because I’m Asian. With sexuality,… Continue Reading
In the last post, I talked about feeling like compassion, empathy, and undrestanding only went one way. I have a knee-jerk reaction to being told to look at the other person’s point of view because, well, I do that on the regular. It’s nearly automatic for me. When I read letters in advice columns, I… Continue Reading
For most of my life, I have been resigned to being ignored. I live in the in-between because I am not one of the two dominant groups in any category. I am Asian–not black or white. I am bi–not gay or straight. More recently, I am areligious–not a believer or an atheist. And, sigh, finally,… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I touched on how we humans make things harder on ourselves. This is true in general, and even more so with family dysfunction. What we grew up with was the norm, and if it was unrelenting, then it can be hard to break free. In my family, women were subjugated to men… Continue Reading
My mom called me last night and as usual, started the conversation by complaining. Wait. To be fair, she asked me how I was doing. She didn’t care, mind, but she did ask. Believe me. She does not care. I give her a bland answer, and we move on to why she really called–to complain… Continue Reading
Gender is a construct. The end. Nah, I’m just funning. I mean, I’m not, but I am. But I’m not. But I am. Got that? That’s how my brain goes, by the way. It’s been that way for my whole life, but I’m better able to deal with it now. In part beacuse of Taiji;… Continue Reading